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Miseducation
of Lawyers
The professor of a contract law class asked one of his
better students, "If you were to give someone an
orange, how would you go about it?"
The student replied, "Here's an orange."
The professor was outraged. "No! No! Think like
a lawyer!"
The student then replied, "Okay. I'd tell him `I
hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate
and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages
of and in, said orange, together with all its rind,
juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages
with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat,
the same, or give the same away with and without the
pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before
or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments
of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary
in anywise notwithstanding...'"
( Jamesfuqua.com
)
Snow
day
A blizzard struck one February evening, and the next
morning the streets were impassable. One student who
lived two miles from the campus and who normally commuted
by elevated railway heard on the radio that the el
was not running. Dutifully he trudged through the
snow-filled sidewalks, arriving twenty minutes late
for his Contracts class. There at the podium the professor
was holding forth to an audience of one. Instead of
taking his regular assigned seat, the student slipped
into the seat next to the other fellow.
The new arrival listened to the lecture and after
a while leaned toward the other student. "What's
he talking about?" he whispered.
"How should I know?" came the reply. "I
got here five minutes before you did."
( Jamesfuqua.com
)
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You
might be a law student if:
If you average 3 hours of sleep a night
If your trash is overflowing and your bank account
isn't
If you go to Wal-Mart more than 3 times a week
If you are personally keeping the local pizza place
from bankruptcy
If you wake up 10 minutes before class
If you wear the same jeans 13 days in a row -- without
washing them
If your breakfast consists of a coke on the way to
class
If your social life consists of a date with the library
If it takes a shovel to find the floor of your room
If you carry less than a dollar on your person
If you haven't done laundry in so long you are wearing
your swim suit to class
If you celebrate when you find a quarter
If your room is so cold that your toilet freezes over
If you wear a sweat suit for so long that it stands
up by itself
If your backpack is giving you Scoliosis
If you get more sleep in class than in your room
If your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself
some Ramen Noodles
If you can sleep through your roommate's blaring stereo
If you live in an area that is smaller than most mobile
homes
If you get more e-mail than mail......
THEN YOU MIGHT BE A LAW STUDENT!!!
( Jamesfuqua.com
)
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Short
Jokes
A University of Virginia Law School professor said
to a graduating class, "Three years ago, when
asked a legal question, you could answer, in all honesty,
'I don't know.' Now you can say with great authority,
'It depends.'"
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The reason law schools have been described as "a
place for the accumulation of learning" is that
first-year students bring some in, third-year students
take none out--and so knowledge accumulates.
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Quote from telephone inquiry:
"We're only hiring one summer intern this year,
and we won't start interviewing candidates for that
position until the Partner's daughter finishes her
summer classes."
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There is no better way to exercise the imagination
than the study of the law.
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The requirements for admission to practice law include
completion of general education at the university
level; completion of a three-year postgraduate law
school curriculum; passing a two- or three-day written
bar examination; and proof of satisfactory character,
the latter requirement being minimal. - G.C. Hazard
Jr. and Michele Taruffo, "American Civil Procedure"
1993
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If law school is so hard to get through, how come
there are so many lawyers?
- Calvin Trillin
( Jamesfuqua.com
)
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